Stuck

My keys went from fourteen sentences to zero
I feel like I need another free throw.

This poem is taking me back to my teenage self
I want to binge-eat that cookie jar on the shelf.

There’s probably an illness termed for people like me
I’ll deny it with all the strength I have though, if need be.

It’s just a phase, and you’ll get over it, I say
“It’s a feeling that’s soon going to rot and decay.”

Do you speak to yourself like I do?
Internal monologues make me find stuff true.

It’s just a phase, and you’ll get over it, I say
“It’s a feeling that’s soon going to rot and decay.”

Guess what? I’m not the person to make a quick buck
I’m the one that works passionately, and yet I’m stuck!

Original!

And then I said, “I’m not the one you’re looking for.”

I’ve heard so many authors, philosophers, advisors say,

“Fake it till you make it” to build your way.

Fake being happy and you will be one day,

Or fake being rich and money will fall on your way.

 

Crazy, I might seem to them, but I strongly disagree

Why should I fake being someone, when I have my own degree?

It’s not arrogance or ego,

I’m truly sorry if you felt so.

 

I just am curious and I want to know,

Does faking really work that well though?

I want to know why should I hide

Behind a mask that’s… teary eyed.

 

I mean to say, I’m happy to spend the money I have

I’m also happy to fight the struggles I have.

I’m ready here, to own my mistakes, my missteps, my flaws

What is it then, that might stop me from applause?

 

Isn’t it enough tough, to be oneself already?

That they want me to manage two personalities and yet be ready.

I’m ready here, to be embarrassed, to make a fool out of myself, to learn

It’s alright if money will be less, at least it will be what I earn.

 

It makes me mad they want me to fake my reality in just the one life I have?

Why do I believe them, what if they’re faking the thoughts they have?

Trying..!

Let’s talk about trying today…

When was the last time you tried something new?

Picked a paint brush, paints and spoiled a pages few.

Haha, No. I’m not saying, what you painted was bad

I’m saying if you didn’t like it, I’ll be glad.

 

How was that experience though, of painting for the first time?

Didn’t it feel like love, something sublime?

That’s the real game, the feelings you felt

The first time, those cards were dealt.

 

When I wrote a poem for the first time, I hated it too

But that made me write again and again, each time, something new.

Every time I start with something new, I ruin my first go

Like I was never meant to do it, whatever so.

 

But in fact I am, made for it, I’ll tell you how

Because trying something new itself takes courage somehow.

 

And I had the courage, to strum those strings of my guitar

I had the courage to smash that tennis ball afar.

I had the courage to dirty my hands to knead the dough

I also had the courage to do them again, to get up and go.

 

Well, it’s never easy to get something right the first time

All of us make mistakes and it’s perfect to make them in time.

Whether you want to play a guitar or bake a cake

Try to be accepting of yourself making a mistake.

 

Don’t get disheartened and come on, try again tomorrow

For you had the courage to try for the first time, no sorrow.

It’s always the next few times, that you’ll learn and grow.

So tie those laces again and get set go.

Running Away!

Blames, excuses, complaints…

I’ve been running away

Into a grassland that’s grey.

It’s scary no, to visualize that?

And yet, that’s where I’m driving at.

 

It’s crazy to narrate of this eerie grey grass,

It cuts through my feet, like sharp pieces of glass

You imagine the blood… don’t you?

It doesn’t hurt much now, it’s not my debut.

 

I’ve been coming here as a kid, into this dead grey land

To bury my head, in the sand.

I see a shadow, just a shadow on that far off tree

She calls out my name, my blood she wants to pree.

 

Mockingly, unfair, she laughs at me

She calls me closer, offers me tea.

I still can’t see her and I’m not scared anymore

I told you right? I’ve come here ample before.

 

You don’t want to imagine, what I’m going to tell you now,

It’s funny, she knows everything about me somehow.

I want to see her, I want to grab that tea,

I want to know why… she lives on this dead tree.

 

And then I wake up from this horrid dream everyday,

I guess, I’ve been running too long anyway.

Into a grey grassland of, “I’ll do it next time”

Into the air that’s nothing but grime.

 

Into grass that’s shattered pieces of my will and grit

Into flowers that scream, “You can’t do it!”

Towards the shadow of death, that mocks me every night

And I still wake up to see bright sunlight.

 

I have high hopes and I know I’ll make it possible too

For these grasslands can’t haunt enough, even if they try to.

May death call my name, let me see her face to face

She’ll be pleased I know, to see my grace.

 

For I’ll be standing proud, of the life I’ve lived

Above all the challenges, I’ve outlived.

She wouldn’t be able to mock then, quietly she’ll see

My eyes wink at her, with courage and glee.

Pandemic 2020!

Hello!

First of all, I’m sorry to those, who await for my poetry, I’m sorry that I’m not being able to post as much these days. But, I assure I will change that soon.

Secondly, I’m sorry to everybody reading this and waiting for a poem to come up, while this is my first post on this blog after 490 poems that is not a poem, because what I want to say is rather serious and important.

I know, we all have heard enough, seen enough, thought enough about this. I know most of us don’t even want to read more about it, and it’s perfectly alright if you don’t read ahead.

Pandemic? It’s as crazy and as disturbing and as strange as it may seem. This situation is exactly what each one of us is feeling today. But what’s crazier, more disturbing and more strange is the mindset of an infected soul who is probably 63 years old and isolated in a room, with serious healthcare but nobody to talk to, no television to watch and no Netflix to chill.

While typing this post, I’m sitting at home today, on my terrace, with breeze blowing through my hair, a warm cup of coffee and in the most comfortable chair I’ve found in the 20 years of trying various chairs. The reason I’m telling you this is that most of us reading this are in the best condition possible during this Pandemic and No, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be upset or feel sad or gloomy, all I’m saying is we should feel a little thankful for being safe and at home.

All I want to tell you is, to accept. Accept what we’re going through, it’s huge and the worst is, it’s hidden, unseen too. I know it’s tough these days to just take what’s given without questioning it, without denial. But at times it’s important to take life as it comes, it’s important to take all the Lemons and the sourness that life has to offer, it’s important to do as much as we can to save the life that we’re living. And in this moment as hard as it may seem, we have to be together by being afar. As ironical as is it, it is crucial.

So feel what you’re feeling, whether you’re sad, you’re happy, you’re annoyed, you’re calm, just try to accept and acknowledge the changes within, the changes around and cope with it. Because the only way to tackle situations is to tackle them right? So let’s do this by being home, by being safe?

Something!

I’m looking for something, within.

It’s as crazy as it may seem

I’m here looking for a shining beam.

It doesn’t have to be supreme

And it shouldn’t appear like a dream.

It’s there, I can see the color through my veins

It’s flowing through my body, at times it pains.

But in my heart this space it obtains

I constantly refrain, it explains.

I said, it might seem crazy but it’s kinda true

The feeling I can feel today, have you felt it too?

That we’re here to create a soul so new

That’s unheard, unseen, untouched, still due.

It’s like I’m here, to not survive but to create

Something that I can’t translate

A thing that’s a part of my gut, to be my fate

To be remembered centuries after I’m late.

It’s there, I can see the color through my veins

It’s flowing through my body, at times it pains.

But in my heart this space it obtains

I constantly refrain from it, it explains.

Defining Me!

Definition:

I write everyday, each day a prose, a painting or a thought

I don’t write for hours though, neither very little nor a lot.

It’s a habit to either forget the surroundings or find myself

Either way it’s a crazy thing to do, to be lost in oneself.

Today, I’m starting to think of a definition for me

I’m trying to define to you, who I could be.

But as I write this line, I know

That I can’t be summed up in a poem, whatever so.

I can write of my dreams, ambitions, love and life

But missing out on most of it, could be a rife.

I can write of my knowledge and everything true

However, if I think of that, it’ll be difficult to get through.

I can tell you how I look since I feel my scars everyday

But life’s too short and wounds will add and grow anyway.

I can tell you of my passion, courage or determination

Yet again, let me inform, those are developed and weren’t my foundation.

In this poem I feel like that word that you might have to Google

And if I could be an instrument I’d be a Bugle.

Apologies for I yet can’t define the real me

Because not all good poems rhyme you see?

Also if I were written in a poem for you to look

It would be a humongous little book.

Depth!

Depth is what I’ve felt with you!

It gives me immense joy today to let you know

That you make me strong and you make me grow,

Into something as beautiful as a white rose

That looks peaceful yet has it’s thorns close.

It must be crazy to love a maniac like me

I’m sure, while reading this you disagree.

But there’s one thing you’ll accept with pride

And that’s my cheerful chattery mind.

Some take just a look, some take years

To find someone, to share their joy and tears

But the way I found you still gives me quivers

Reminds me of you closing your eyes to wipe my tears.

It’s astonishing the way you treat me

I love how with you, I become a better me.

Falling is an understated word for the love I have for you

Depth is indeed, what I’ve felt with you.

Crazy Was Her Name!

Crazy isn’t just a word for some people.

Not an always happy face

But courage lived in her eyes with grace.

Her mind was mighty and apace

To change her name from an in-case to ace.

Some said her warmth could thaw ice

Some complained she was too precise.

Her truthful eyes weren’t dessert, but spice

She called her home, a little Paradise.

They said, her silence would eat her up one day,

But the words of her mind could only pave the way

To where she wished to reach one day

And never turn or look away.

We don’t know whether to call it a blessing or fame

Nobody knows whether this was her only aim.

Dismissed, unnoticed, uncured was then, this young dame.

Let me tell you, Crazy was her name.

One Man Army!

I want to tell you the story of a man today.

It took a man to define the gravitational force

It took a man to believe that there resides a life within a horse.

Christopher Columbus taught us the value of discovery

Aristotle coined terms that could help in human recovery.

The computer that I am using today is because of Mr. Seymour Cray

Michelangelo is the person who taught the world of color grey.

Mr. Graham Bell gave us something that we all just love today

Heard of Beethoven? He gave us music that even toddlers would recognize any day.

I have many more names to add on, to this list of great and powerful

Trust me they are a huge strong army and quite bountiful.

But it is not them that I want to talk about today,

These are people who were crazy like someone present with us, this day.

The story of this man, is less known and even lesser told about

Yet I can say he’ll do something worth it, without doubt.

Because it takes a man to climb to Mt. Everest,

It only takes one man to be known in the sea of runners, the fastest.

One man alone decides to be a part of the army that can be called great

Takes one man alone to be remembered forever even after he’s late.

Alone he fights his battles unknown

He has concluded that his dreams were written in stone.

Yes, I know I’ve created enough puzzles to introduce to you

That, the one man who believes in becoming legendary is You.

Best!

Don’t be good, don’t get better. Be the best they’ve ever known.

You need no ladder to reach the sky
And now is the day to do or die,
Well, they’ll laugh and you might cry
But it’s your life, so don’t take standby.

Strive harder under the moon and sun
Do all you can, call it outdone,
Don’t dream to become like someone
Dream and practice and work to be the one.

Work as hard as you can today
For hard work pays off anyway.
Do something that takes your breath away
Make it last at the end of the day.

Try try and only try
They can’t stop birds that fly high,
When in crisis, close your eye
And dream again to fly high.

For one day they’ll scream your name
Higher above their voice and fame.
For you’ll be that overcame
The noise of fear and shame.